Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars Extremely
by xMyxShadowsxHeartx
Summary: hehehehehehhe get to know your real stars...starting with Reno, please R&R...hehehe aren't i naughty for leaving cliffhangers?
1. Reno

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely

Heya pps! This is my first story, I would start with one of my own originals but I thought hey why not tell our beloved fans the truth about our stars.

Hmmm I think I'll start with the Turks lol. By the way, I don't know some of their real surnames so I'll make them up lol.

Disclaimers: T-T you know the drill.

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Reno

Reno was walking down the hall when he saw a sign on the wall.

Drinking contest! See if you can win this contest by drinking all the alcohol there is! First prize is 2 years supply of all alcohol. Contest is being held down by the dark room (102) next to President ShinRa's office.

"Oooooooooh a drinking contest" Reno said starting to get really excited

"Hey Rude pal! I'm going to a drinking contest." Reno yelled

Rude just stared at him blankly.

Reno went down to room 102, inside he found a chair in the middle of the room under a small light that was dimly going out.

He sat on the chair.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, _a voice echoed.

"Huh?" Reno asked dumbly looking up.

_Reno Sinclair…he has thousands of pictures of Tifa._

"Tifa…Tifa? Oh you mean that big breasted women whose sector I destroyed? You mean the one who likes Cloud, yo? The one that Rude likes…Oops I shouldn't have said that. The one who...?"

_Yes that fucking Tifa, GOD. Reno Sinclair…is a big dumb ass._

"Hey you can't say much yo, you don't even know my real surname."

_Shut up…dumb ass. Reno Sinclair… loves to womanize and…_

"Yeah in fact I do! And I like to watch strippers too, yo!" Reno replied proudly.

_Ewww…you like to watch your best friend strip for you?_

"Huh…Wha? NO I didn't mean that! YOU'RE FUCKING SICK YO! SICKO!"

_At least I don't like to watch my best friend strip. _

"Sure you don't." Reno said sticking his tongue of slyly.

_Reno Sinclair...is gulliable, he actually beleived there was a drinking contest._

"Is that all you got, yo? Cuz if it is then i'm leaving, your wasting my precious drinking time.I have to be at a drinking contest soon, yo."

_Like i said, Reno is dumb... _

Again he stuck out his tongue.

_Reno Sinclair... is a geek, he tries to act cool and slick, but fails miseribly._

"Shut up bitch, your the one who a geek, your doing this yo."

_Gasps How can you say such a thing to all your fangirls, and boys._

"It's easy, watch...GEEKS!" Reno yelled.

A metal bar fell down on Reno's head.

"Oww. Hey that hurts yo." he complained

_Well that's what you get for calling us geeks._

He smirked.

_Reno Sinclair... he's madly in love with his boss Rufus._

Reno gave a yawn, "BORING!"

_Well then if im' boring, why don't you tell us something about yourself._

"Why should i? it's fun to see you struggle here yo, i mean it's not like you know about the time when i came in my pants when i was thirteen at my birthday cuz someone i liked kissed me..."

_No i didn't actually but that's pretty interesting stuff._

Reno suddenly stopped talking.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT HAVE I SAID YO? Aw crap i'll never hear the end of it now." Reno began to sulk.

_Now you know Reno Sinclair, he's a big dumb ass, who still beleives there's a drinking contest going on. The man who loves to watch his boss and best friend strip._

"Hey! That's not ture, wait come back here, i'm gonna get my lawyer on you yo! Wait a minute, i don't have a lawyer, oh well at least i still have my drinking contest, yo." Reno looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall, and saw that it was now over.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," he began to cry,

"You made me miss the drinking contest. I'M GONNA KILL YA YO!"

Reno runs around in the dark with his electro-mag hitting random objects.

_God, your dumb. _


	2. Rude

Hey if your still reading this I'm quite surprised lol, this one is gonna be on Rude lol.

Disclaimers: I own nothing, not even my own body! But I do own this stick that's right next to me.

Reno- comes and takes it away. Hehehehe

Me-….aaaww…..shrugs o well. Enjoy!

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Rude

'Reno's been gone a long time' Rude thought, so Rude went to look for Reno. He looked at the sign on the wall that Reno was looking at earlier. He noticed it said room 102 on it so he went down there to look for him.

When he got there he noticed the door was slightly ajar, so he went in, thinking Reno must still be in there. As soon as he walked in the door closed itself. Rude looked over his shoulder, not bothered about how it was happening.

He saw the chair under the dimmed light that was half broken because Reno had hit it earlier. He walked over to the chair and sat on it.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars,_

Rude raised an eyebrow.

_Rude… his real is Rudolf Smörgåsbord._

Rude remained quiet.

_Rudolf Smörgåsbord…likes to watch the teletubbies; he sings and dances to the songs. He's got all of their albums, and wants to use it when he's alone with a woman._

Rude's expression didn't change.

_Rudolf Smörgåsbord…isn't strong; he's just a weakling who tries to act like a bad ass. _

Rude looked at the watch on his wrist.

The voice starts to get a bit irritated.

_Rudolf Smörgåsbord… has a secret teddy…_

Rude finally spoke, "What are you talking about?"

_You know who I'm talking about; I'm talking about Mr Huggle-Wuggles._

A sweat dropped down Rude's face.

_So where did you get him from? Did Reno give him to you? Awwww how sweet!_

Rude was now starting to get annoyed,

"YOU LEAVE RENO AND MR. HUGGLE-WUGGLES OUT OF THIS!" he shouted.

_You yelled at me, I'm gonna get you fired! _

The voice runs off, and Rude is left alone.

The teletubbies theme song starts to play; Rude smiled and left the room. As he was walking down the corridor he was humming the theme song.


	3. Elena

Yello again! This one's on Elena, or Laney as Reno likes to call her.

Enjoy!

Disclaimers: I won't tell you again!

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Elena 

"Reno? Rude? Where did those idiots go?" Elena sighed.

Elena then suddenly remembered that she saw Rude go into room 102 earlier, so she went in there.

She found the chair in there and sat on it, she was feeling tired after trying find Reno and Rude.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars,_

Elena looked a bit scared,

"H-hello? I-is anyone t-there?" she asked shyly.

_This is Elena Sims…_

"Sims? Actually my surname is…"

I don't care what your surname is, your Elena Sims…coughs...anyway, 

_Elena Sims… is a tart, a slut, and a whore what ever you want._

"Hey that's not very nice, who are you? Tell me your name so I can report you at once!"

_Hahahaahahahahaha…yeah like I could get fired, you don't even know if I work here or not. _

"I'll find a way." Elena replied confidently.

_Elena Sims…likes to watch porn._

"What? I certainly do not! That's just disgusting." She looked disgusted and pulled a face.

_Yeah well how do you explain all these porno videos I found in your house?_

A whole block of porno videos fell on her.

"What?" she said picking them up "They're not mine!"

_Sure…liar._

_Elena Sims… Hates Tseng guts._

"No I don't!" she shouted, blushing slightly

"If I must be honest with you, I love him." She blushed even more

_Suuuuuuuurrreee you do, you say you love him but your really thinking of your true love._

"And who might that be?" Elena asked confused.

_Tut tut tut, you're in denial Laney…_

"Laney?"

_Yeah that's your new nickname…Laney's true love is…_

…_Cid!_

Cid walks past and over hears his name; he goes closer to the door and listens to the conversation.

"Cid? As in Cid Highwind? Oh...my...God! That is sooooooo gross! I mean he's an old man! Ugh how can you be so disgusting?"

_Don't lie! I saw your secret letters written to him! I got one here right now, I guess I'll just read it out loud now…clears throat,_

_Dearest Cid,_

_I love you sooooooooooooooooooo much its untrue, I know I have never told you, and I never will, I'm too scared to tell you. And I know I'll never have the chance to be with you, because there are so many other women that want you. But in my heart I know that it's me that you want. So now, whenever I hear the wind blow it whispers to me Cid Highwind._

_Your love forever_

_Elena_

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Awwwwww how sweet, but I think you went a little too far when you put the naked picture of yourself in. _

"_What? I never wrote such crap!"_

_Gasps…Laney, you shouldn't diss your poetry like that; you'll hurt Cid's feelings!_

"I don't really care of Cid or his feelings! Just leave me alone!" she began to cry.

Cid who was listening into the conversation was now heartbroken.

_Now you know Elena Sims. She is a Tseng hater, poetic whore who longs for her true love's heart._

Elena was still crying on the chair saying,

"It's not fair, it's just not fair!"

_Of course it isn't……coughs…whore _


	4. Tseng

Hey hope your enjoying it, like me say plz R&R, this is Tseng now so I'm hoping it'll be funny lol.

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Tseng 

Tseng sighed "Honestly what's the whole point of having employees if they're just going to bunk off work?"

Tseng was getting pissed off, they all went missing one by one, first Reno then Rude and now Elena, then who, him?

He walked into room 102 to get a few supplies he needed. As soon as he walked in he realized that something was wrong.

_Sit! _

Tseng looked around to find out where the voice was coming from, he couldn't find it, so he decided to do as it said.

_Stand up!_

"Don't push your luck." Tseng replied sternly, glaring around him.

Fine then…Tseng…. ermmm…Whoppewoo has a double life, yeah that's it he has a double life! 

"And?"

Is that all you gotta say for yourself? 

"Yes." He replied dully.

_Well then your boring, no wonder why your wife left you..._

"Wife? I don't have a wife." He said confused.

_Well duh, that's because she left you, and took your five sons and three daughters with her._

"I don't have any children, or a wife!"

_Well du…_

"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT?" Tseng shouted.

_Well sooooorrrrry Mr Nudy-Pants,_

"What's the hell are Nudy-Pants?"

_You should know, your not wearing any, hahahahahahaha_

Tseng looked down at his pants and found that he was in his boxers.

_Anyway carrying on,_

_Tseng Whoopewoo secretly owns a strip club._

"I most certainly..."

_Do! See he admits it! He is the manager of the strip club that Reno likes to go to._

"Actually I was going to say I don't own a strip club, thank you very much."

_You're welcome!_

"I was being sarcastic." Tseng said making the voice look dumb.

_S-so was I…Tseng Whoopewoo…his strip club business was ruined because of Reno, and now…_

"Oh God how long will this go on for?" Tseng asked shaking his head.

_HE LIVES IN A CARDBOARD BOX!_

Tseng just stared, "Yeah, well, if it gets me out of here I'm just going to have to agree with you. I DO live in a cardboard box, I DID own a strip club, and I DID have a wife and eight children. So now I'll leave you alone."

Tseng got up out of the chair and left the room.

_HEY WAIT! GET BACK HERE, I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET! Please don't go…I'm ……lonely…_


	5. Cloud

Well someone's been busy haven't they huh? Lol if you're enjoying then that's good! But if your not then that's bad…. Shrugs.

Disclaimer: Ugh, I'm so bored of saying it myself, Rude you say it.

Rude: …  
Me: God your useless I kidnapped you for nothing.  
Rude: …  
Reno: Me! Me! Pick Me!  
Me: Ugh fine then,  
Reno: She doesn't own final fantasy or anything, including ma sexy body, but if she wants if she gotta pay for it and…gets whacked…Owie…  
Enjoy!

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars-Extremely Cloud

Cloud wandered into the dark room with a new light bulb (got replaced eventually after Reno came back and finished it off).

Cloud looked around and took a seat.

"Hey there's no tournament here. That bloody freak tricked me. When I get my hands on him/her I'll..."

_Know your starts, know your stars, know your stars,_

"Who's there? Show yourself." Cloud jumped up and got into his fighting stance.

_Cloud Strife…he hates Barrett,_

"No I don't, he's quite a good friend actually." Cloud replied calmly.

_Well, Cloud Strife…doesn't know that Barrett kissed Aeris before she died. _

"What?" Cloud yelled, "How, when, why? WHY?"

_Cloud Strife… he never loved Aeris, he loved…_

"Never loved Aeris? Uh huh, I'll let you know that we were dating."

_Hey let me finish. Cloud Strife loves…peanut buttered custard._

"I think you mean peanut buttered jelly." Cloud rolled his eyes.

_Nope its definitely custard._

_Cloud Strife…is afraid of everything…_

"You're lying! Come on show yourself, or are you too afraid too fight me! I know you won't be like another Sephrioth."

_Cloud…I AM Sephrioth!_

A blown up picture of Sephrioth is shown to Cloud, he goes crazy and starts to cower.

_You were saying?_

Cloud is silent, hugging his knees and sucking his thumb mumbling things about Sephrioth.

_Now you know Cloud Strife, the guy who is a coward and loves peanut buttered custard._

Cloud: Can't sleep, Sephrioth will eat me. Can't sleep, Sephrioth will eat me. Can't sleep, Sephrioth will eat me. Can't sleep, Sephrioth will eat me. Can't sleep, Sephrioth will eat me….

_Boy he needs help…_


	6. Sephrioth

Yeah some of these maybe short but hopefully funny,  
now this one is one that someone I know will like, so I suppose this one is dedicated to him,  
he knows who he is, lol.

Disclaimers: By Reno

Reno: heheehehehehe I killed her so she won't be doing anymore.  
Me: I'm standing right behind you.  
Reno: Ahhh I can still hear her voice right now, it brings a tear to my eye.  
Sephrioth: Oi!  
Reno: Ah HOLY SHIT!  
Sephrioth: Tell me where room 102 is.  
Me: It's down the hall, take a left then another left then a right and it'll be straight ahead.  
Sephrioth: Thank you kind miss, unlike some brats.  
Reno: Glares.

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars-Extremely Sephrioth

Sephrioth finally found room 102, it had taken him longer than he expected,  
he was exhausted when he got there and so he sat on the lonely chair.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars,_

"That voice sounds familiar…."

_Huh? (Deepens voice) Err no it doesn't, you're hearing things._

Sephrioth is still talking to himself.

"So soft and warm, I can hear like I'm hearing the wind…."

_Err hello? Mr. Sephrioth sir?_

"So young and I can remember it so well. Such a woman's voice…"

_MR. SEPHRIOTH CAN YOU HEAR ME?_

"It definitely reminds my of old times, ahhh those were the good times…"

_How long are you gonna drag on like that?_

"WHO DARES INTERRUPT ME? MIGHTY SEPHRIOTH IN DEEP THOUGHT?"

_Ermm it was the pizza boy…Yeah the pizza boy, HE DID IT!_

"Oh why thank you, I'll remember to kill him later. Now where was I?"

_Good times?_

"Oh yes! Did I ever tell you about the time when I dared Cloud to put on women's  
clothes for me, everything!"

_Umm…. No you didn't, but I really have to go now. It was nice meeting you…err…_

"Leave and I'll kill you…" he gave a death glare.

_Did I say I was leaving? I meant how intriguing!_

"It is isn't it? Any way as I was saying…"

_(Mumbles)Kill me, kill me now please!_


	7. Vincent

Wow, hey thanks for the reviews, you lot are such lovely people, hey if you like a particular character, just say and I'll dedicate it you all. Lol  
Keep em coming!

Dedicated to:  
Dark Faeries.  
Ghost in the mirror.

Disclaimer: By…..?  
Reno: I'm not doing it yo, every time I do I end up getting hit. Hey Valentine you do it yo.  
Vincent: …  
Me: Please Vincent-san, Reno's being a pig.  
Reno: HEY!  
Vincent: Fine, she doesn't own anything.  
Me: Except you! - -huggles-  
Vincent: - -' Why me?

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Vincent

Vincent walked past room 102 and then he took a few steps back and looked through the door. He sensed something bad was going to happen to him, so he walked away again. But unfortunately for our poor Vinnie, he couldn't get away fast enough; some strange vines came out at him and dragged him into the room.

"No, no no no…." he struggled.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars,_

"Oh god please no." he didn't want to believe what was happening. He closed his eyes. 

_Vincent Valentine…is sexy._

Vincent:O-o? He opened his eyes again and looked confused.

"Are you mocking me?"

_Mimics Vincent…Are you mocking me?_

"That's not funny."

_That's not funny!_

"Stop it."

_Stop it!_

"Would you Chaos to be here?" Vincent smirked,

_Would you like…? Ermmm no I wouldn't actually._

"Hmm, I knew that would make you stop." He replied acknowledge-ably.

_Hehehehee, well since I like you Vincent-san and respect you I guess I'm gonna have to torture you in a different way._

Vincent blushed slightly, "And how do you plan on doing that?"

_Smirks…_

_FANGIRLS ATTACK!_

_Nothing happens, tumbleweed rolls by._

"Is that all you got? Well wasn't that a bit pointless?" 

"Hmm, what's that noise?"

Fan girls come running into the room.

"Holy Cerberus!" Vincent yelled.

The fan girls (and boys) start to rip Vincent's clothes off, all of them are yelling on who gets to touch what parts. And who gets to keep what. A massive fight broke out, but sadly…

…Vincent-san got away.

_WAIT COME BACK VINCENT-SAN, YOU SAID YOU'LL MARRY ME REMEMBER? VVVVVIIINNNCCEEEENNNTTTT-SSAAAAANNN!_


	8. Kadaj

Wooooo go me! I'm glad you lovely people out there are enjoying my fanfics. And I'll do all characters, which I intended to do anyway.

Dedicated to:  
Harmony dies here

Disclaimers:  
Me: It's your turn Reno.  
Reno: No it's not its Rude's.  
Me: Ugh fine then, come on Rude, people wanna read already.  
Rude:…  
Reno: That means, I own everything, mmwhahahahahahahaahaha.  
Me/Rude: Walks off  
Reno: Huh? Looks around Hey!

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Kadaj

"Mother are you in here?" Kadaj asked peeking into the room. Kadaj was looking for his mother, so he obviously thought he'd start at the ShinRa Company.

_Yes….Kadaj…_

Kadaj walked into the room

"Mother? Is that you? MOTHER?"

_Yes…now please sit down Kadaj…_

Kadaj smiled,

"Yes mother." He replied

_Kadaj…_

"Yes mother?"

_I'm not your mother! Hahaahahahaahaahha…_

Kadaj suddenly got into a piss, " What have you done with mother, where is she?"

_Shrugs… I dunno…. somewhere in a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep hole?_

Anyway, Kadaj Sugarplum…still wets the bed… 

"I DO NOT!" Kadaj objected.

_Kadaj Sugarplum…has not yet hit puberty_… 

"Yes I have, I hit it a few years ago. So there, you can even ask my brothers."

_Why should I? Do you all measure your members?_

Kadaj blushed at the thought, "No that's just sick, eww why would we all watch each other measure ourselves?"

_I dunno maybe it because…you're all sick!_

"No we're not, you stupid bitch."

_Oh boo hoo, Kadaj called me a bitch. What would your mother think?_

"She wouldn't care because she would agree with me!" Kadaj stuck his tongue out.

_Gasps… well then…Kadaj Sugarplum…fancies Reno._

At this moment Reno walked past and heard.

"Eww that's gross yo! First it's Yazoo and now you, you all make me sick."

_See?_

"Especailly you yo!" Reno tries to point at the voice.

_And I can see that you're still a dumb ass yo…_

Now Reno was in a piss, so he just walked off, all high and mighty.

_Now, where were we? Oh yes…_

"How could I ever fancy someone like him?" 

_I don't know, you tell me you fancy him._

"I do not!"

_Do too!  
_  
"Do not!"

_Do too!_

"Do not!"

_Do too!_

"Do not!" 

_Do too!_

"Do not!"

_ Do too!_

"We're gonna be here all day."

_I don't care, I can just leave you all alone locked in this room._

The voice disappears and the doors lock. Kadaj jumped of the chair and tries to open the door.

"Hey miss? Can you open the door now? This isn't funny, I have to find mother. Miss? Miiiiiissssss? MISS? OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR NOW! ONCE I GET OUT OF HERE I'M GOING TO SUE YOU! MOMMY! HELP ME!" starts to cry

The voice reappears,

_Now you know Kadaj Sugarplum, the momma's boy._


	9. Yazoo

Hehehehehehe glad your enjoying the fic! I'm sorry it's been a while, but I was given a time out…T-T it wasn't fair, I soo wanted to carry on.

This chapter is dedicated to my best friend Deds, she loves Yazoo sooo much.

Disclaimers:

Reno: … Huh? Hey where is everybody? Looks around him

Everyone from the previous chapters is having a party.

Cloud: woooooo yeah! cracks champagne open

Tseng: Ahhh it's so quiet not having Reno around.

Elena: I couldn't agree more sir! They clink glasses

Reno: T-T don't own anything…

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Yazoo

"Come on Kadaj, Loz and I don't know if you're playing 'Let's play hide and seek in the ShinRa Company' or the 'Let's find mother' game."

Yazoo was starting to get worried about Kadaj, sure he wanted to find mother as well, but running off without telling anyone was just worrying.

"M-mother…" Yazoo heard a whimper.

Yazoo walked into the dark room, "Kadaj?" he asked

Yazoo found Kadaj standing in a corner, he went over and hugged his brother.

"Who did this to you?" he asked

Kadaj pointed into the black air. Yazoo looked over and saw nothing.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars,_

"Whoever you are, I swear you going to pay for what you have done too my little brother!"

Yazoo Sugarplum… 

"Sugarplum? Is this what she called you Kadaj?"

Kadaj weakly shook his head.

_Yazoo Sugarplum… sings in the shower…_

"That's normal isn't it?" he asked

_Not when you're singing such a high pitched song…_

"Well how do you know what I was doing? You've been stalking me perhaps?" Yazoo gave a sly smile.

_No…but my friend has…hehehe, she's got you on video cam in the shower singing. ROLL THE CLIP_! 

Yazoo was in the shower, obviously naked (A/N lol XD).

Unfortunately for all fan girls, you don't see him naked…that is until the camera slipped and then quickly went up again and a small giggle can be heard.

In the shower Yazoo was singing… the verses were good until he sang the chorus…

"I'm walking on SUNSHINE wwWWoooOOAAAaaHHHhh!"

The sound was so squeaky that even Yazoo himself cringed when he saw this.

"Ooooook. Well maybe that part was a little horrible, but the rest was good." Yazoo admitted.

_I'm sure…Yazoo…_

"Why do you always have to sing in the shower Yazoo?" Kadaj asked fiercely

"Because when I feel so happy and good in the morning, I feel a song in my heart and so I sing!" Yazoo replied grinning.

_Umm excuse m…_

"But you do this all the time!" Kadaj answered back

"Well sooooorrrry if I like to sing when I feel a song in my heart." Yazoo crossed his arms and turned away from Kadaj.

Kadaj did the same.

_Err…okaaaay, well then Yazoo Sugarplum...erm…LOVES DAISIES!_

Yazoo uncrossed his arms and quickly turned around,

"Daisies? Did you say daises." His eyes began to sparkle.

_Yep, that's right daises…and…_

"I LOVE DAISES!" Yazoo screamed

_Err…um… that wasn't that kind of answer I was expecting but…_

"Daises! Daises! I love daises! Go daises go!" Yazoo sang, dancing around.

Little did Yazoo and Kadaj know, that above them were a pile of daises that were waiting to be thrown down on them

But since Yazoo loved daises, the voice knew she shouldn't let them down.

Unfortunately the daises couldn't be held in side any longer and they all burst out.

"DAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEESS!" Yazoo once screamed again, he was in daisy heaven.

Yazoo began dancing around the falling daises again, he was so happy he sang once again.

"Daises! Daises! I love daises! Go daises go!"

Yazoo danced out of the room, Kadaj quickly followed him.

_Well then…two down, sort of, one to go…_


	10. Loz

Well I'm glad everyone's enjoying this fic. Wow I'm running out of things to say, lol. Well anyway here's our new victim.

Disclaimers:  
Everyone's asleep.  
There's a card that reads: Don't own anything; so don't bother trying to sue me while I'm asleep, that's something Reno would do.  
Reno: Mmmmmm I'm lovin' it.

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Loz

Loz was walking around the ShinRa building, looking for his two younger brothers.

'It stinks in here.' he thought and then he stopped, he realized that this smell was familiar to him.

He then noticed that he had stood on something, so he lifted up his leg and look at his boot. A crushed daisy was stuck to it. When he put his foot back onto the ground, he saw a trail of daises. Loz was confused, then he said to himself.

"There's only one person who loves daises this much." and followed the trail, hoping it will lead him to his brothers.

The trail stopped at a door, Loz looked up and read 'Room 102' he hesitated for a moment, then decided that there might be some clues in there on the whereabouts of his brothers.

So he went in.

Inside he found a pile of daises around a lonely chair, on the chair, there was a single daisy. Loz went over to the chair to pick it up. He couldn't pick it up so he let go of it. Soon he realized that he was super-glued to the daisy, which was super-glued to the chair.

He sighed.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars,_

"Huh?" Loz looked around.

_Loz Sugarplum…is really an old man…_

"Old man? Who you calling an old man?" Loz yelled.

_You…old man…Loz Sugarplum…_

Was a sugarplum in a ballet, when he was… 

"Let me guess, when I was young." Loz replied oblivious to the answer.

_Actually when you were 19, gee it was only two years ago until you had to quit…and that was because they thought you were a pedophile amongst six years old girls…_

Loz looked blankly… "You lie…"

_Nope…just telling our wonderful audience the mere truth about you…_

"Your fucking sick!" Loz yelled.

_Yeah yeah whatever, it's not like it's the first time someone said that to me… _

Anyway…Loz Sugarplum…is a crybaby!

"I AM NOT!" Loz was now furious.

"NOBODIES DARES CALL ME A CRYBABY AND EXPECTS TO GET AWAY WITH IT!"

_He watches cheesy chick flicks and cries, in one he cried so much because one of the lovers is going to have a brain surgery…_

Loz's eyes begin to prick… "They were close lovers…and besides…I…h-had…s-something…in…m-m-my eye." He struggled.

_Your brothers couldn't find your mother Loz…they never wanted to…_

"Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!" Loz screamed and covers his ears.

_She only wanted Sephrioth…._

Loz started to cry,

_There there…I'm sure you can take ballet up again to take your mind off this all…_

Loz is still crying "I'm gonna get my brothers on you…you…you big meanie!"

And he ran off.

_Well that wasn't hard…now you know Loz, the sugarplum, ballet pedo, crybaby._


	11. Aeris

I just wanna say thanks for your lovely reviews. I'll say again yeah some of these are short so I'll try to make them longer. Our next precious victim is the lovely Aeris. THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU AERIS FANS OUT THERE! AND ALL THE LITTLE PEOPLE!  
-coughs- ermm anyway, so yeah on with the…ermm… er…-shrugs-

Dedications:  
Beeria  
Ghost in the mirror.

Disclaimers:  
Reno: And then… HIS WIFE CAME THROUGH THE DOOR!  
Me: -bored expression- Yeah and?  
Reno: Did I tell you she was dead?  
Rude: …No.  
Reno: Well she was…and she had a GOLF CLUB with her!  
Rude: …So?  
Reno: Don't you remember he went golfing all the time and she got really jealous?  
Rude: …No.  
Me: Oh come on Reno you call this a scary story?  
Reno: Yes… In fact I do! Anyway it's not as if you can tell a 'great ghost' story.  
Me: Can't I? MwmMmWwwWAAaaAHaHAhahahAaaaaaaa –lightening strikes-  
Reno: Hey Laney you can stop flashing that flashlight around.  
Elena: -comes out from behind the door- Was I that obvious?  
Reno: -sarcastically- Oh no you really had me going there. I was so frightened I nearly pissed myself!  
Elena: Really?  
Reno: …No.

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars –Extremely Aeris

Now as everyone knows, Aeris died. But what if some idiots (a.k.a Cloud and Barrett) tried to bring her back from the dead?

Cloud and Barrett stood in the water where Aeris was put (can't really say buried can you? lol).  
Barrett has a book in his hand called 'How to raise the dead: A version for idiots like you' and was scanning through on what Cloud and he had to do to bring Aeris back.

"Ah ha!" Barrett shouted, quickly he looked up at Cloud and snapped the book shut.

"Okay, here's what we have to do." He said to Cloud.

Barrett went over to Cloud and whispered into his ear.

"Really? That's all we have to do?" Cloud asked.

Barrett nodded his head.

Barrett and Cloud took their places in the water,

"Hey? If she does come back will she protect me from…you know who?" Cloud asked weakly.

"Who? Who do you mean you know who? I don't know who you know who is…Oh you mean Sephrioth, right?"

Cloud cringed at him name "Don't say that awful name!"

"Fine then, well don't interrupt me!"

Barrett continued and shouted,

"Oh mighty Shinigami! Please take pity on this poor woman who has been put into these polluted waters. RELEASE HER! LET HER SPIRIT BE FREE ONCE AGAIN! LET HER…ARRRGHHH!" Unfortunately for Barrett he didn't see the massive tidal wave coming at him and so he got washed away.

Cloud stood still blinking.

Nothing had happened; Cloud shrugged and walked all the way back home (bloody hell!) looking sad.

Out of the water, came a dead corpse…And I think we can all guess who it was. The corpse made it's way to the ShinRa building.

-At the ShinRa building-

The corpse walked into room 102, and sat down on the chair. In the dim light a face could be seen and it was…

_Know your stars, know your stars_, _know your stars, _

"Well hi there!" a soft voice chirped.

_-gasps- Aeris? It can't be, you…you've been dead for two years…you…hey wait a minute why am I gasping? I knew you were coming here anyway. I got those two idiots to raise you._

"Yep that's right!" Aeris smiled

_Wow for a dead person your skin is glowing…_

"Yep, that's what being buried in polluted water can do."

_Wooooow I wanna be buried there now…_

Aeris once again smiled.

_Well anyways back to business…_

_Aeris Gainsborough…is flower girl from the slums…_

"That's right!" Aeris chirped

_Well…ermm…what I meant was…she's a lesbian…_

Aeris looked confused and tilted her head slightly to once side.

_Fine then we'll go a different way about it… Aeris Gainsborough…doesn't know that Tifa is trying to get Cloud…_

Aeris stopped smiling an angry expression grew wide across her face.

"What…did…you…say?" she clenched her fist really hard.

_You heard me…ever since you died she's been trying it on with Cloud…Your ex-boyfriend…_

"HE' NOT MY EX!" Aeris screamed

_Well excuse me for pointing out that your dead…_

"That…fucking…Tifa bitch…trying it on…with MY BOYFRIEND?"

_For the last bloody time…YES!_

Aeris stood up with her fist still clenched she started to trash the room screaming,

_Jeez calm down already…it's not like you can't kill her…_

After about an hour or so she sat back down again cursing Tifa.

"When I get my hands on that fucking bitch I'm gonna…"

At that precise moment Tifa crashed through the door with her fist clenched…

_Huh?_


	12. Tifa

Heh…heh…heh…Gomen Nasai? Seriously I am very sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been busy, hehe working on my new Kingdom hearts fic Chocolate Sauce, you should read it some time…if you have it…-grins- hey it turns out this maybe the longest chapie yet! Enjoy!

Me: Right I'm sure there's something I'm forgetting…hmm what can it be?  
Reno: Chocolate Sauce?  
Me: No, not Chocolate Sauce you twat!  
Reno: -grins- Whipped Cream?  
Me: -blushes- No!  
Reno:…Pineapple rings?  
Me: SHUT UP! –whacks him-  
Reno: T-T  
Me: Oh yeah that's it! Dedications! This is dedicated too…  
**Ghost in the Mirror  
****Beeria  
**Is that all? Oh well…  
Rude: Aren't you forgetting something?  
Me: Hm? Oh yeah…Rude's selling his body if you're interested!  
Reno: -snickers-  
Rude:…shut up…Read…my…lips…Not…for…sale…and she – points at me- Does…NOT…own…anything…

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Tifa

WHACK!

Tifa thumped Aeris in the face.

"My pretty face!" Aeris screamed "I can't let Cloud see me like this!"

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Tifa aimed another punch at her but Aeris dodged it.

"YOU WANT A FIGHT? I'LL GIVE YOU A FIGHT!"

Aeris "magically" got her rod out (where from?) and thrashed it into Tifa's stomach.

"Ow…" Tifa put an arm over her stomach and crouched down "That hurt."

Aeris stopped and looked at her sympathetically. "Oh really? Tifa, I'M SO SORRY."

As soon as Aeris came closer to Tifa to help her up, Tifa shot up and kick her in the side of the head.

Aeris fell to the ground. She then quickly got back up, grabbed Tifa's hair and pulled it. Tifa retaliated by doing the same. This went on for a while.

_Erm…excuse me…_

"WHAT?" both girls shouted.

_Well since I'm doing Aeris here, I may as well do you Tifa as well…_

Tifa stopped pulling Aeris' hair and let go "Do what? Oww…"

Aeries had bitten Tifa's ear.

Tifa's eyes went red with fury "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!"

It seemed that she had hit her limit break, and it went absolutely bizarre.

First, she punched Aeris all over so many times it didn't take long for the bruises to show up, then she kicked Aeris and she went flying out of the room, where the door once was.

Tifa let out a breath or exhaustion, stretched her arms out then turned around and sat on the chair.

"So let's continue shall we?" she said ever so sweetly.

_Yeeeeeah…Tifa Lockheart…didn't know that Cloud went behind her back to raise Aeris from the dead…_

"Cloud was the one who brought her back from the dead? AFTER I TOLD HIM NOT TO! Oh he's gonna get suck a bollocking from me when I next see him…" she glared.

_Tifa Lockheart…she knew all along that it wasn't her that Cloud wanted…_

"That's not true!" Tifa began to object, "We're best friends, that's all!"

_Yeah sure…And I'm God…_

"As if you could ever be that great." Tifa mumbled under her breath.

_Hmm?… You know you shouldn't really mumble otherwise I can't hear you…_

"Fine I'LL SPEAK LOUD SHALL I?"

_QUIET…I'm not deaf you know…_

"Any way like I was saying we're only friends."

_Just friends…?_

"Yep!" Tifa crossed her arms and turned her head away.

_Well then what's all these videos of you trying to chat Cloud up then huh_?

"What videos?" she sounded slightly alert.

Yeah you know, the ones that show you trying too hard…

"I DO NOT TRY TOO HARD! I DON'T TRY AT ALL!"

_Uh huh…Well maybe you'll like to explain these footages then_…

There is a blank screen for a while and mumbling can be heard…

"Hey does this make my butt like big?"

"Shh, they'll hear you."

"Don't you tell me to shh, I asked a question and I want an answer. NOW!"

Silence.

"Well then?"

"…No...It doesn't."

"Are you sure? You're not lying to me are you?"

"Just shut up and get a move on!"

-Sighs-

The camera starts to shake a little. Finally everything is clear and Tifa can be seen, only she looked a little odd.  
She looks at the camera and a high pitch voice whispers. "Now I'm gong try my new sexual skills on Cloud."  
The camera follows Tifa downstairs and into the bar where Cloud was, cleaning up. He looks up at her; she goes over and practically suffocates him with her massive wonky breasts.

"Hey Cloud." She gave a shriek that makes you want to die.

He shivered as she said this "Hey Tif, what you up to?"

She grabbed a lock of her hair and began playing with it, "Oh, nothing."

"Okay." Cloud simply replied

Tifa stopped playing with her hair, "That's it? Nothing else?"

He looked at her confused "Erm what's for dinner?"

Tifa gave a massive sigh and ran back up to her bedroom, the camera turned to look at Cloud then followed her up.

And that was the end of the footage.

"That wasn't me." Tifa said.

_Yes it was…_

"No it wasn't, it was Reno dressed up as me. I mean it was sooo obvious, you could see his red hair. I mean no one could miss that bright coloured hair, if they were blind!" she exclaimed.

_Well ooh la la, Miss I Can Spot The Difference...I'm gonna kill Reno for giving it away, i mean i told him subtle and he still doesn't understand..._

"Well I can tell I'm wasting my time here so I'll just leave."

Tifa got up and was about to leave the room, when she saw Aeris standing in the doorway, breathing heavily. Tifa glared at her. A few seconds later Aeris charged at her, and the whole fight began again.

"STOP IT! STOP IT AT ONCE!" came a young masculine voice.

They both froze and stared at the voice, it was Cloud, frowning at both of them.

"I told you I heard shouting." A voice came from behind him; it was none other than Rufus.

"CLOUD!" the two girls screamed, they ran up to him and hugged him to death.

"Ugh…Rufus…help me!" Cloud struggled; you could only see his hand left in the air.

Rufus sighed, "Fine then, but you owe me."

He went over to the bundle and pulled Cloud out, just like he was as light as a feather. Aeris and Tifa stopped, noticing Cloud's disappearance.

"Thanks babe." Cloud said to Rufus.

"Yeah like I said, you owe me." Rufus replied in a monotone voice.

"Sure, whatever you say." Cloud gave him a wink.

_I KNEW IT!_

Tifa and Aeris stood still blinking at the two of them, looking from Cloud to Rufus then back to Cloud.

Cloud put his arm around Rufus' waist and they both walked out of the room.

Aeris and Tifa were frozen, still blinking both speechless.

"Hey Aeris?" Tifa spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"Let's be friends."

"Okay!" Aeris chirped and they both walked out.

…_Well then…I guess I may have a new guest of honor soon…_


	13. Rufus

Heya peeps. Yeah yeah, I know, I DID take a while to do another chappie, but here you go….…So you can stop your complaining now and enjoy! But i msut admit, after finishing this, it's quite long.

Dedications: This one is especially for Christine cuz it's her Fourteenth Birthday soon, I know Rufus may not be your fav but…. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE! Hope you enjoy this chap!

Disclaimers:  
Reno: Do you think they fell for it?  
Rude:…No…  
Reno: WHAT? But I worked really hard to try and act like Big Breasts!  
Rude:…But you failed like crap…  
Reno: -sighs- Yeeep I did…Oh well. - -'  
Me: - HHHHHIIIIIIYYYAAAAA!  
Reno and Rude:…  
Reno: That wasn't something funny yo…  
Me: O-O…Why am I here again?  
Reno: -sighs- Let's just get this over and done with. Do you own anything?  
Me: O-O…-blinks a few times- Nooooo…  
Reno: Well then you can't get sued can you?  
Me: O-O…Can't I?  
Reno: Just shut up will you?  
Me: 0-o'……- I think it's someone's birthday!  
Reno: -slaps his head with his palm- Idiot…

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Rufus

"Sir are you ready for the meeting?" asked Rufus' secretary.

"I'm ready whenever they are." He replied.

"Glad to hear it sir, it's being held in room 102. Which is only next door." She chirped.

Rufus groaned, "I have to walk all that way, just to get to the meeting?"

"Err…yes sir, you do." The secretary was confused.

"Got another little job for you." Rufus snapped his fingers.

A bead of sweat rolled down the sectary head as she forced a smile.

-Outside room 102-

Rufus had ordered his secretary to carry him on her back to the room next door to his, from his office chair to the door that was named room 102.

By now the secretary was covered in Rufus sweat, even though he hadn't done any walking.

"Sir? Why are you sweating?" she bravely asked him.

"Because of all that walking." as he got off her back, he bent over to catch his breath.

"But, I…I carried you sir." She stumbled as she tried to catch her breath; it wasn't fun carrying a man of 142lbs from his office to the room next door.

"Yeah and? It's still very tiring for me! Go order me a wheelchair, I want it A.SA.P, and if I don't get it now, I'm going to kill you." He fluttered his hand, signaling her to leave.

"But sir, you just said A.S.A.P!" she said.

"Well I changed my mind. And I shall repeat only this once for you, if I…don't get it …NOW…I'm going…to kill you…got it?"

His secretary slowly shooked her head, her eyes quivering with fear.

"NOW GO!" Rufus barked. And she took off, like the wind.

Before walking in, Rufus straightened himself out; once he was satisfied he walked holding his head high.

That was before he noticed there was no one else in the room.

"Oh…. yes…" Rufus boringly said, "This is that room where that "mysterious" voice speaks."

Rufus sat on the chair under the dim light, he sat there waiting and waiting, waiting for the voice to appear.

He sat there for half an hour in silence, still waiting for the voice. Just as he was about to get up and leave, he could hear some one talking.

_Shit, shit, shit! I'm late! Oh crap…_

Rufus put his hand to his mouth and coughed.

Everything went silent again.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars,_

"About time." Rufus finally spoke.

_Rufu…How long were you here for?_

"Half an hour. You're late." He gave a small smirk.

_No I'm not, you're just simply too early…_

"Yeeah…sure." He rolled his eyes.

_Well then let's get started shall we?_

"That's sounded very sly for a voice like you…" Rufus replied.

In a small seductive way,

_Maybe I like to talk like this…_

Rufus gave a small cringe.

_Rufus ShinRa…Is gay…_

He rolled his eyes again, "I think they already know that."

_Yeah well here's the part they didn't know, I WON THE BET AHAAHAHAHAHA!_

"What bet?" he asked with a bored expression.

_The bet I made with Tseng…_

Rufus shook his head and gave a small sigh, "Tseng doesn't bet."

…_Doesn't he?_

Rufus once again cringed, "Stop it with the slyness! It's creeping me out."

_Rufus ShinRa…Doesn't like the ideas of girls having fantasies over him…_

"Shut it, or I'll shut it for you!" he grabbed for his gun and found it wasn't there.

_Looking for this?_

His gunned is being held on a piece of string far away from him.

Rufus crossed his arms and pouted, "Fine we'll have it your way, but once I get out of this, you'll be sorry."

_Yeah, yeah, you can give the speech at my funeral…_

A small smirk appeared on his face, relishing every moment of what he was thinking.

_Rufus ShinRa…Is a lazy asshole…_

He shot up, shouting, "NO I'M NOT!"

_Yes you are…I mean, come on, you got your secretary to carry you here…_

"How did you know that if you were late?"

_I have my resources…-_thumbs up to Christine- 

Christine copies with a big smirk on her face, even though she too, is hidden in the darkness.

_Rufus ShinRa…Is fat…_

"Fat? You call this fat?" he grabbed some of his flesh from his waist.

_Yes…yes I do…_

"Well then you're just very stupid then aren't you?"

_Yea-…hey! That's not very nice…_

"You started it." Rufus nodded his head to the direction of where the voice was coming from.

_Did not_

"Did too"

_Did not_

"Did too"

_Fine then…Heeeeeeeey…is that a singing candle I can hear?_

In the background a candle singing "Happy Birthday To You" can be heard.

_Isn't it YOUR birthday Mr. President?_

"What the hell are you talking about? My birthday isn't till November."

_Oh well, the sooner, the better…_

The light goes out and candles that have been placed around the room light up.

The voice starts to sing, in a very seductive way…

_Happy Birthday…Mr.…President…Happy Birthday…Mr.…President_

_Haaaaappy Birth-day…dear… Mr.…Preeesi-dent…_

_Hap-py Birth-day…to……yooooo-u…_

The candlelights go out and the dim light comes back on, Rufus in still on the chair, only he is bent over covering his ears.

"Are you finished yet?"

Still in a seductive voice,

_Of course Mr. President…_

Rufus' face froze…he began to shiver.

_Oh why Mr. President! You look so cold! Here let mama come and give you a biiig hug!_

Rufus cringed and closed his eyes, attempting to block the noises as well. But before he could do that he heard footsteps coming closer to him, he looked up and saw a person in a mask coming towards him.

He screamed and ran out of the room.

Christine took off her mask, hysterical with laughter,

_Did you see his face? He cried like a baby!_

"Yeah…I did…a-and we're really lucky…to have filmed all of this as well." Trying to catch her breath back before she choked.

_Yep, now I got something to use against him! Thanks for your help!_

"Hey no probs, I enjoyed doing this!" both Christine and the voice high-fived each other.

_Now you know Rufus ShinRa…the man…who…erm…err…-shrugs- wets himself…_

"Eww he did that?"

_Yeah didn't you notice?_

"Nope, but oh well…I guess I can always watch the replay." An evil smirk crept upon her face.


	14. Cid and Yuffie

YOOOOO HOOOO! I'M BAAAAAACCCCK! Yes I'm back, yes siree! –salutes- I've had a few reviews asking me to do Cid or Yuffie next but for this one I'm gonna b lazy and cheeky and do both together, it'll be easier. for some reason i think it may be a bit crappy, but let me know pretty please, if you only enjoyed it!

I know you've all been waiting for the next chappie, BUT I have been working on Chocolate Sauce, which surprisingly for only 3 chapters is out selling this one. Haha. Yeah I 'm sure it's recommended if you like Yaoi.

Hope you enjoy this chappie!

Disclaimers: It's the end of the world.

Reno: No it's not.  
Me: Shhhh…they don't know that!  
Reno: -whispers- oh right.  
Rude: -Slaps his fore head-  
Tseng: -sighs- don't sue because she's only a little girl.  
Me: WHO YOU CALLING A LITTLE GIRL YOU PAEDO?

Final Fantasy VII: Know your stars- Extremely Cid and Yuffie

Cid was outside the ShinRa building crying his heart out because of that whore Elena.

_Ciiiiid….ohhh Ciiiiid!_

"Huh?" Cid stopped crying and looked around, puzzled.

_Up here…in the ShinRa building…room 102._

"Oh, riiiight…" he said slowly nodding his head.

So Cid, being the idiot, went to room 102, just like the voice had said.

"HIYA GRANDPA!" screeched a highly pitched voice.

Cid slowly turned his head around. And saw Yuffie stand right next to him.

"Yu-ffie?" he asked, eye twitching.

"That's right!" she gave a wide grinned.

Cid starred at her. She kept grinning.

Then as quick as a flash he whacked her one on the head.

"Owww." Yuffie cried, and pulled a sad face.

"Don't call me grandpa!" Cid said clenching a fist.

"Oki gramps!" and with that, she skipped off…into nowhere.

"That no good goddamned ninja." He spat.

Cid continued his search for room 102, of course being a bit lazy, he kept walking into the wrong rooms, and must I say, he walked in on a few very unpleasant sights. Though some were funny to watch.

Finally his journey had ended as he found the room. He opened the door and walked in.

Again, as always, was the lonely chair. But sadly –sniffs- it broke when he sat on it –cries- WHO WOULD DO SUCH A CRUEL THING? WHO!

"Errrr…it was the mice." Cid tried to blame.

_-sniffs- My…chair…YOU BROKE MY CHIAR!_

"Sorry?" Cid, unsympathecitly, apologized.

_YOU BROKE MY CHAIR AND YOU'RE SAYING SORRY?_

"Er yeeah?"

_-glares-…Fine I guess I'm not gonna bother with you…_

"Uh?"

_Uh? You're gay…_

"Uh?"

_And dumb too!_

"Wha?"

_Oh fine then!_

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars,_

"But I already know you're here."

_SHUT UP!_

Lots of random objects get thrown at Cid.

"Argh, it raining!" cried Cid.

_Suuuure it is… Anyways…Cid Highwind…has an obsession with dick-shaped things…_

"Dick-shaped? Waddya mean dick-shaped?" he asked with fury.

_You know, like –giggles- Penis'…-rolls on floor laughing-…_

"Ha! Yeah right! In your dream, physco."

_It's true! Like Seirrrrr-----thingy or other…It looks like a penis…_

"Does no-"

_And I know who your model was…it was…_

Dramatic music- Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu  
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu  
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu  
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu  
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu  
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

_Alright already – kicks stereo-_

----n.

_Like I was saying it was…_

_Yuffie?_

_Man I thought she was a girl…_

Cid: 0-0'

Reno, outside the room: Heheheheheheheheheehehehhhee.

Rude: What?

Reno: I wrote Yuffie on there. Heheheehehehehhe.

Rude: How lame…

Reno in on the floor having a fit.

Rude just looks at him and walks away, not knowing that it was an actual fit, so he ended up in hospital later. Getting in on with the nurses and jerking himself off.

-Back in room 102-

Cid is still confused and so is the voice, so everything has been silent for the last hour.

When all the sudden…

-Nothing happens-

Ahem when all of a sudden-

-Still nothing-

YUFFIE GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!

"Oh right…sorry." Yuffie exclaimed shoving lot's of snails in her mouth…god knows why…

"HIYA GRAMPS!" Yuffie screeched once again.

"Any way," Cid started ignoring Yuffie, who is now in the corner crying, moaning about Cid never wanting to see his only granddaughter.

"Who's penis was it?" Cid continued.

"Huh?" Yuffie looked at Cid, confusion written all over her face.

_It was…Denzels –gaps- you sick sick man!_

"But he's only like 10 years old." Cid started to explain.

_That's exactly why you used him…cuz his was smaller and easier…you knew none of the other guys would let you do theirs. So you used him, and paid him money too!_

Yuffie gasped "Grandpa? How could you?"

"WHAT?

Yuffie started crying again, "First my materia walks out on me, now this?"

"Wha? Yuffie, no it's all wrong?"

"How could you?" cries even harder.

"Listen to me please!"

Yuffie covers her ears.

"laalalalalalalalalalla.."

"Yuffie!"

"Lalala…"

"Yuff-"

"NYAH!"

Both Cid and Yuffie, "Huh?"

_-puts hand on head- Oh no…_


End file.
